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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

'Love Sick Love:' Edna Garrett Loses Her Mind




Love Sick Love (2012) Poster
The DVD release, which is coming out on May 21, 2013, of the "thriller" "Love Sick Love" was a nice surprise. This wonderfully dark and perverse tale of a woman with more baggage than an airliner's overhead compartments tormenting her latest womanizing boyfriend is much more dark comedy than suspense flick.

Having Charlotte Rae, who was (sometimes incredibly annoyingly) earnest surrogate mom Mrs. Garrett on the '70s and '80s sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes" and "The Facts of Life" play an incredibly unstable grandmother attracted me to the film. "Love's" lead actor saying "F*** you, Grandma" to Rae's character was plain ole good entertainment.

The fate of Rae's character was equally interesting and makes the subheading of this review hilarious. That outcome also likely delighted Rae's nemesis "Dynasty" star Joan Collins if Collins saw the film. The nature of the Rae/Collins feud was that Rae referred to Collins as a "b****" in an interview a few years ago. Collins' response was to ask who was that "old cow" in reference to Rae.

The Rae/Collins exchange has greatly added to the enjoyment that my significant other and I obtain from my "The Facts of Life" DVDs. (Yes, rich brat Blair Warner gets the worst of it.)

Rae's spot-on "Baby Jane" style performance and the terrific warped sensibility of the film that genuinely made me believe that a missing pet bunny would be found in a crock pot (Google it millenials) showed that a good production did not require matinee idols and special effects budgets that would feed a continent's population for a year.

This example of an awesome limited budget movie is particularly relevant at the beginning of a blockbuster season in which "Man of Steel" is the only film that excites me. I decided to pass on "Iron Man 3," despite going to the first two entries, even before reading the mediocre reviews publicized the stark (of course, pun intended) reality of this one.

"Love" spins an entertaining yarn with only a handful of characters, actors who currently lack strong star power, and most of the action occurring in a nice upstate New York country home. There is nary a superstorm, CGI creature, or alien landscape in sight.

The condensed version of the plot is that boy meets girl, boy beds girl, boy is done with girl, girl is not done with boy, girl persuades boy to go away for a long weekend, boy does not return girl's love, girl's dark side is unleashed, girl shackles boy, girl forces boy to play daddy to her previously unknown offspring and to experience a year's worth of holidays in a few days.

A scene in which boy is shackled to a bed with a pair of Easter Bunny ears on his head and girl's panties crammed in his mouth alone makes this film worth watching.

Perhaps the funniest thing is that the theory of Dori, played by Katia Winter, that seeing how a potential spouse handles holidays provides a sense of the probability that a marriage will succeed has merit. Holidays can be stressful, and seeing how someone responds can be very telling.

Winter plays the role well; she appears quite normal at the outset and plays menacing without going over the top. I happily would have accepted an invitation to her country home if I had not known that doing so would have placed my pets at risk of becoming kitty tartar. 

"Gossip Girl's" Matthew Settle is the unfortunate cad who macs on the wrong babe. Like Winter, he does a nice job and keeps his head while those around him are losing theirs and even after the real fireworks begin. (This will also be hilarious after you see the film.)

Anyone with questions regarding "Love" is encouraged to email me.