'Kids R!ghts: The Business of Adoption' DVD: The High Prices of Low Tactics

The documentary "Kids' R!ights: The Business of Adoption," which Cinema Libre Studios is releasing on DVD today and is adding to VOD on June 20 2014, nicely documents global mega flaws with adoption processes/policies. The spoiler alert is that red tape, outdated biases, and undue expenses are preventing adults who ache to provide children who need good homes that necessity from doing so.

Married filmmakers (and prospective adoptive parents) Michael Dudko and Olga Rudnieva begin the film with the tale of the failed effort of Sir Elton John and his husband David Furnish, who are stone-cold sober as a matter of fact, (yeah, there are more of these coming) to adopt both an HIV-positive boy named Lev and Lev's brother from the filmmakers' native country of Ukraine. The second spoiler of this review is that the adoption plans of the couple do not include raising the children on Mars, which is frigid and does not have anyone to help care for the kids.

The very sad fact is that the denial is based on Sir Elton and David not being the men that Ukrainian officials think they are; oh not, not at all. This uber-wealthy and seemingly very stable and loving couple simply run afoul of Ukrainian policies against homosexuals and people who are not married within the meaning of the term under Ukrainian law. 

It is particularly sad that Lev suffers a bad fate following the decision of Sir Elton and David to not devote most likely futile resistance regarding the denial of their application to adopt him.

"Kids" provides a broader perspective in noting that the United Kingdom in which Sir Elton and David live does not allow any racial mingling regarding adoptions.
 
The better news regarding all this is that Sir Elton and David are still standing and feel like little kids after their ordeal with the Ukrainian government. They have a child, who looks a great deal like Sir Elton, with a surrogate mother.

This story screams for sharing, courtesy of YouTube, the video from Sir Elton's 1983 hit "I'm Still Standing." It is amazing that this confection is so relevant to his experience in the Ukraine so many years later. 

Further, this short that includes several scenes of hairless male dancers in full body paint and well-packed thongs arguably is the gayest video ever. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

"Kids" indirectly comments on this overall positive outcome for Sir Elton and David by pointing out a few times that adopting a child arguably does more good than bringing a new one, who will further strain the diminishing resources of our planet, into the world.

This portion of "Kids" goes on to document the nearly feral existence that most unadopted and neglected Ukrainian children live; almost universal drug use and prostitution are only the tip of the iceberg.

The segment on the Ukraine leads into a more detailed and nicely documented discussion on the importance of any child growing up in a loving and supportive home. This includes the value of having two parents, regardless of the mix of genders of those caregivers and the race of any member of the household.

Other themes include the massive paperwork, funds, and delays associated with adopting a child from any country. This message includes the sad truth that the possibility that an adoption may not result from all that leads to many well-qualified prospective parents reaching the same decision as Sir Elton and David to not undergo the ordeal. Meanwhile, the children who otherwise could lead be leading much better lives remain in the institutions that are incapable of doing much more than keeping them alive.

This information is effectively conveyed through interviews with prospective adoptors, experts in the field, adoption agency representatives, and literally the mouths of babes. 

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "K!ds" is encouraged to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'The Monuments Men' DVD: George Clooney WWII Drama About an Artful Band of Brothers

The recent hit film "The Monuments Men," which Sony is releasing on DVD on May 20 2014, is a nice surprise both for putting human faces on a lesser-known group of true WWII heroes and for being true to the nature of their story. 

The past work of Clooney, who directs "Monuments," and having Clooney real-life friend/"Oceans" films co-star Matt Damon co-star in this one are two elements suggesting that their latest joint project is a light-hearted "Hogan's Heroes" style romp. The inclusion of the often wacky and quirky Bill Murray and John Goodman enhances this thoroughly inaccurate sense.

Another spoiler is that this group of soldiers is neither inglorious nor composed of basterds.

Conversely, Clooney seems to stay true to the spirit of the non-fiction book of the same name as the film. One can go as far as stating that this is at least the second project in which the character whom Clooney plays learns the facts of life by taking the good and the bad.

One difference is that the stakes in "Monuments" are much higher than obtaining and maintaining a contract to remodel retail space in a small upstate New York town. One similarity is that Clooney learns that it takes a lot to get 'em (i.e., the facts of life) right in both cases.

The following uber-spoiler-laden clip, courtesy of YouTube, of the UK trailer for "Monuments" provides a terrific look at the scope and themes of the film. 

Clooney plays civilian art expert Frank Stokes, whose concern regarding both the plundering of 1,000,000s of great artworks by the Nazis and as to the bombing of architecturally significant buildings prompts him to convince the U.S. government to form an Army unit to combat (of course, pun intended) these practices.

Stokes gets the ball rolling by recruiting fellow civilian art expert James Granger, whom Matt Damon plays. The characters whom Goodman and Murray play are among the other members of this unique band of brothers.

Their objectives extend beyond locating and recovering these genuine treasures to preventing the theft of the more mobile creations and the destruction of the equally significant buildings within the purview of the purpose of the group.

One interesting aspect of the tale of these lesser-sung heroes that Clooney touches on but that an awesome PBS documentary does not is the debate regarding the value of a human life compared to preserving a painting, sculpture, or building. The concept from the "Star Trek" universe regarding the needs of the many outweighing those of the few terrifically plays a role in this discussion.

The relatively slow pace and deadpan acting throughout much of "Monuments" is very apt for this film about a solemn group of men who 100 percent voluntarily place themselves in the path of harm (and who make tremendous sacrifices) for an important cause that not only is one in which they believe strongly but is one that most others do not even consider.


There are also enough deaths, perilous encounters, and other elements of war to tell the complete story of Stokes and his men and to entertain fans of short attention span theater.

A scene in which a member of the artful dodgers fails to evade a landmine is particularly good; it has an element of realism, provides well-portrayed suspense, offers witty interaction among the group, and includes a clever (but not necessarily successful) effort to resolve the issue.

The DVD offers the bonus of behind-the-scenes looks in the forms of documentaries titled "George Clooney's Mission" and "Marshalling the Troops."

The final debriefing regarding all this is that "Monuments" makes a great Memorial Day treat for members of the greatest generation and those who love them. It also is a great chance for younger folks to expand their knowledge of this era of history beyond schoolbooks and more sensationalistic fare.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding Monuments is welcome to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'The Jewish Cardinal' DVD: Exceptional Biopic of an Extraordinary Man Straddling Two Worlds

The French biopic "The Jewish Cardinal," which is being released on DVD on May 20 2014, is an excellent example of why the Film of the Month Club that Film Movement operates is uber-awesome. The (mostly foreign) indie flicks always artfully tell a universal tale worth relaying. 

"Cardinal" is fascinating because it is true. The titular man in red is a Jewish Polish man who is born Aaron Lustiger but changes his name to Jean-Marie on becoming Catholic in 1940 for obvious and not-so-obvious reasons.

We meet Lustiger as priest in France nearly 40 years after he joins the Catholic church. His fellow countryman Pope John Paul II has just elevated him to the position of Arch Bishop, and Lustiger travels to the Vatican to meet his newly appointed boss.

The initial conversations between these two men are very surprising both in the pope displaying very human traits that extend beyond his well-known habit of wearing sneakers to both men spontaneously stripping off their robes for a swimming race.

The fact that even employees of far less powerful boss than the worldwide leader of the Catholic church would take a literal dive regarding such a contest creates great suspense regarding who will win this event.

It is even more unexpected that Lustiger quickly shows less-than-expected reverence toward the pope as they get to know each other and the wine begins flowing. However, this merely reflects the plan that the pope (and perhaps God) has for M. Lustiger.

The feisty Lustiger additionally creates controversy in France by asserting that he remains Jewish despite embracing the Catholic faith and establishing a career within that church. This does not sit well with a portion of the population of the faithful in his community.

A larger controversy arises regarding a convent that a group of nuns operate on the grounds of Auschwitz. This apparent insensitivity to the horrific history of that place greatly angers Jewish people, requires that Lustiger ponder the arguments on both sides of the issue, and presents the pope with a difficult public relations issue.

The interaction of strong personalities alone makes for great drama that often evokes thoughts of live-stage productions. The theological questions that the religion-based issues provide fodder for unlimited debate; and throwing in the themes related to Europe in the 1940s and the subsequent political environment on that continent further intensifies the story.

The end result of all this is that anyone who sees "Cardinal" without experiencing emotional responses to the developments and thinking about the topics simply seems to lack the spark that separates humans from other species.

The aptly named bonus short, which every Club release includes, "Kosher" is a very cute and amusing film about a friendship between a lonely Jewish boy and a pig. Needless to say, the family of the boy does not consider the relationship orthodox.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Cardinal" is welcome to email me. You can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'The Street' S1 DVD: British Anthology Series About Ordinary Blokes and Birds

The universality of the stories in the 2006-09 three series (my people call them seasons) BBC hour-long BBC drama "The Street" is one of numerous things that makes this show great. Please note that Unreal TV is dividing coverage of the BFS Entertainment complete series DVD set of the show into reviews of each individual season.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of a scene from "The Street" offers a good sense of the realistic nature (and entertainment value) of the program.

Each episode of "Street" focuses on trauma in the lives of a family in a blue-collar neighborhood in Manchester, England. These stories (and the neighbors) interact to varying degrees in the seven first-season episodes.

The drama in the first episode begins with a newly commenced covert adulterous affair between two neighbors. A subsequent trauma that strains the relationship between the families of the couple that are violating the sanctity of their marriages first leads to intense pressure and then an unexpected form of an anticipated confrontation. The validity of the justification for setting up that conflict provides viewers fodder for several hours of quality debate.

Another episode has the mandatory age-based retirement of factory supervisor Stan coincide with his shock on witnessing the aforementioned trauma resulting in his being late for work for the first time in the more than 20 years that he has been an employee of that company. The added insult to the injury relates to an unpleasant surprise regarding his pension.

The response of Stan to the news regarding his pension provides amusing black humor; a shocking experience and having your world tumble down around you is tragic when it happens to you and hilarious when someone else is the victim.

These escapades of Stan further play a role in the downward spiral of another neighbor, who is a central figure in the very emotional season finale. This story shows how rapidly a mental state can deteriorate.
 
An especially good episode centers around an ordinary 20-something bloke who is living with his blind father; the single event that causes this man to experience the same form of dramatic chain reaction as his neighbors is an impulsive theft of a pair of sneakers.

The  most compelling thing, aside from the exceptional writing and cast of some of the best-known British actors, about these episodes is that they all center around the universal theme that a single incident can profoundly change your life. Additional realism comes in the form of not every ending being a happy one.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "The Street" is encouraged to email me. You can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'Jonny Quest: The Complete Eighties Adventures' DVD: Excellent Equal Parts 'Scooby-Doo' and 'Venture Bros.'

Warner Archive's recent 13-episode 2-disc DVD release of the 1986 series "Jonny Quest: The Complete Eighties Adventures" is an awesome reminder of the "good ole days" before cartoons had to be edgy and remakes of classics particularly had to ramp up the darkness. This series is much more true to the original "Quset" from the '60s than the uber-hilarious Adult Swim series "The Venture Bros." that offers a twisted version of these relatively kind and gentle shows.

Both the '60s and '80s incarnations of "Quest" provide elementary-school aged boys a look at their version of an Utopian existence. The titular character is a roughly 12 year-old lad who travels the globe having wonderfully perilous adventures with his crusader/scientist father Dr. Quest. Saving said parental unit and/or the world on numerous occasions is a nice bonus regarding this exciting existence.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of scenes from an episode of the new "Quest" includes every element that makes this show fun. It is also exciting to see a Borg-like creature appear in this pre "Star Trek: The Next Generation" era.

These global adventures allow Jonny to play with the various forms of hovercraft and other cool tech that his father invents and uses to fulfill his missions. Redesigning the Quest aircraft from the original series to have a smaller jet that can detach and fly off on its own in case of emergency a year before Gene Roddenberry updates The Enterprise with the same technology in "Next Generation" especially cool.

The new series also retains Quest bodyguard/assistant Race Bannon and the Indian boy Hadji, who serves as Jonny's companion/partner in boyish mischief. Hadji also brings limited magical powers, that include an ability to levitate, to the table.

An early episode both brings back "Quest" nemesis Dr. Zin and introduces Jonny's female counterpart, Jessie Bradshaw. This one starts with Jessie alerting Team Quest of the current nefarious scheme of Zin.

A later episode introduces Hardrock, a.k.a. Monolith Man, to the series. The team discovers (and revives) this ancient stone android in a lost city that is 10 miles below the surface of the earth. He surfaces (of course, pun intended) to join the battle for good out of a sense that supporting those missions fulfills the purpose for which he is created. A scene in which Hardrock, Jonny, and Hadji watch the "Godzilla" cartoon series from the '70s is very cool.

The pilot episode clearly establishes that the new "Quest" is true to the spirit of the original. This one revolves around Dr. Quest's contract to discover the source of attacks on radar bases taking the team to a mysterious island inhabited by cloned hybrid prehistoric creatures.

Another particular fun (but very politically incorrect) episode has the quest (of course, pun intended) for a sunken WW II-era German submarine resulting in our gang being sent back in time and battling comically savage pygmies. Suffice it to say, the stereotypical evil German scientist does not fare very well.

Episodes that are reminiscent of "Scooby-Doo" series include ones that involve the appearance of aliens and ancient warriors to thwart noble efforts and conceal less noble ones. The evildoers would have gotten away with it too if not for those meddling kids (and their dog).

A personal favorite of the eight episodes watched for this review is an homage to a film classic. The aptly titled "Vikong Lives" offers a very condensed version of "King Kong."

This one starts with the current client of Dr. Quest expressing strong anger regarding the speed at which the latter is retrieving Viking artifacts. Things heat up (of course, pun intend) when this effort leads to defrosting a giant ape whom the ancient Vikings trained.

Ala the promoter in Kong, the client demands that Vikong be captured and returned to the states to be exhibited. The child-friendly outcome is similar to that of "Kong."

The bottom line is that they simply do not make them like "Quest" anymore but should; the show is quasi-campy and hokey but not annoyingly so. It further demonstrates that entertainment need not rely on being outrageous.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Quest" is encouraged to email me. You can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'Our Blushing Brides' DVD: Joan Crawford Shows How to Engage a Millionaire

The relative early talkie "Our Blushing Brides" from 1930, which Warner Archive released on DVD several weeks ago, includes great elements of classics from that era. It combines Joan Crawford in a relatively dramatic lead role, a wonderful sense of a live- stage production, and a  morality play.

Archive artfully sums up the spirit of "Brides" by stating on the back cover of the release that it "joins earlier trendsetters "Our Dancing Daughters" and "Our Modern Maidens" to form the trilogy of Joan Crawford movies that define the passions and plights of jazz-baby youth."

"Brides" is also part of an Unreal TV Crawford trilogy. A review of  "The Last of Mrs. Cheyney" ran in April 2014, and a post on "The Bride Wore Red" is planned for late May 2014.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of a scene from "Brides" makes it seem MUCH more like a Busby Berkeley musical than a Joan Crawford drama. However, the final minutes are truly charming.

This one has Crawford playing shop girl/amateur fashion model Jerry. Her colleagues/roommates Connie and Franky, respectively played by '20s darlings Anita Page and Dorothy Sebastian, require that Jerry also play the role of house mother.

All three working girls dream of finding a rich fella to enhance the lifestyle to which they have begrudgingly become accustomed. One specific goal is never having to set an alarm clock.

Reminiscent of the three little pigs of fairy tale fame, Connie and Franky pay the price for taking the easy route while Jerry benefits from building the brick house to which she greatly limits admission.

Connie literally and figuratively gets taken in by dreamy David, whose family owns the department store that employs our heroines. She soon learns the perils of being a kept woman, and David gets a harsh lesson regarding the consequences of imposing that peril.

For her part, Franky falls prey to the charms of a big-spender who truly is merely keeping up appearances. A scene in which she learns the truth is one of harshest in this and any other film.

The stalwart Jerry fares better in keeping her milk supply intact until the right dairy farmer both comes along and agrees to purchase her before pulling on her teats. Robert Montgomery plays the most likely candidate Tony, who is the somewhat older and infinitely more mature brother of David.

This is not to say that David does not do his best to open Jerry's barn doors. However, he remains a gentleman when he finds them firmly shut.

Suffice it to say, the virtuous path that Jerry follows pays off better than the seemingly well-trodden path that her friends select.

No modern review of this film is complete without referring to a scene that is hilarious by today's standards. In discussing one of the surprisingly common fashion shows of equally shockingly risque outfits for which Jerry and the girls are recruited, Tony gleefully announces that the gayest designer in Paris is visiting the store. Said individual being extremely flamboyant adds to the amusement of this.

The many morals related to this film are that the overall message that it offers is still relevant nearly 85 years later and that rejecting films from that era because they are in black-and-white and otherwise present wonderfully dated images deprives you of some of the best entertainment to come out of Hollywood.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Brides" is welcome to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'The Class' CS DVD: 'Friends' With Benefits

The 2006-07 CBS Monday night sitcom "The Class" is a perfect addition to the Warner Archive DVD library. This lesser-known very funny show, which won a People's Choice Award for Favorite New TV Comedy, about the comic misadventures of the 20-something characters and their former third-grade classmates has many elements of a classic sitcom.

David Crane, who was a producer of "Friends" and other '90s sitcom, get "Class" off to a great start with a pilot that has curable romantic Philadelphia pediatrician Ethan Haas (Chandler) covertly gathering the members of his third-grade class as a surprise for his fiancee. This grand gesture relates to Ethan and said fiancee meeting in that class 20 years before. (There are no indications whether they played doctor at that tender age.)

The party triggers a breaking of the engagement and a beginning of assorted friendships and other relationships among Ethan and seven of his classmates.

Ethan, wonderfully played by John Ritter's son Jason, starts hanging out with tough-on-the-outside-tender on the inside Kat Warbler (Phoebe.) Much of their terrifically playful interaction has her trying to get him to stop being such a wouse/patsy.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of a terrific interview with Jason from the "Class" era provides a good sense of his charm and that of the series.

The Ethan/Kat duo is the center of the best of the 19 "Class" episodes. An innocent trip to a frozen yogurt shop leads to Kat challenging Ethan to get free samples of every flavor and not buy anything. Stating that hilarity ensues is not an exaggeration, and no one who sees this episode will ever be able to ask for more than one such sample without feeling tremendous guilt.

Other great Kat/Ethan moments involve him getting her in a prolonged wrestling hold and her getting stranded in his condominium while his very frisky girlfriend is visiting. Another "Three's Company" moment has Kat and Ethan fantasizing about a menage-a-trois that does not appeal so much to one potential participant.

Another pairing has Kat's sweet and naive twin Lina (sweet and dopey Phoebe) starting a romance with dorky Richie (Ross), played by Jesse Tyler Ferguson of "Modern Family." With the exception of a hilariously awful dinner party in a must-see episode, much of the humor related to this story line involves Richie's horrible driving.

Television reporter Holly Ellenbogen (quasi-Monica) also has some great moments; a scene in which she and Kyle (quasi-Ross) discuss the graphic manner in which she discovers the night that he is gay is one of the best of the series. The fact that Holly has married a comically flamboyant interior decorator indicates that her instincts regarding men have not improved; the Thanksgiving episode provides some insight regarding this.

"Class" mines wonderful humor in having the appealing Kyle and his uber-hunky live-in Chilean boyfriend derive great pleasure from watching Holly get tortured on the air; a broadcast from a petting zoo is very memorable, and an episode that has Holly reporting on a hurricane has one of the best moments from the show.

Duncan, who may as well be Joey's brother, spends much of his screen-time with former high school girlfriend Nicole (Rachel.) Nicole being married to former professional football player Yonk Allen complicates the rekindled feelings that she and Duncan share.

The most comical Nicole/Duncan moment involves hilariously eroticizing a cheese steak that will make every viewer want to immediately drive to Philadelphia for one. Their most memorable tender one comes during a very special dinner.

As indicated above, the good news is that Crane and his team bring us an entertaining crew and do equally well with both sits and coms. The less good news is that the premise that this group of "friends" who have not seen each other for at least 10 years and mostly were not very close during their school years become so intimate with each other in one form or another after a single party.

The final report card for "Class" is that it earns a solid B-plus. It has a great cast and is always highly amusing with hilarious moments thrown in. It simply does not live up the full potential that it possesses. Not even sending the gang to summer school in the form of additional off-season episodes is a failure of the network system.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Class" is welcome to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'Tanta Agua' DVD: Perfect Summer Family Film

The "why we selected" essay that uber-awesome Film Movement writes for the Uruguayan drama "Tanta Agua," which Movement is releasing on DVD on May 13 2014, is so spot on that limiting this review to a reprint of those two paragraphs is incredibly tempting.

Readers of past  Unreal TV reviews of the always excellent Movement releases know that that distributor operates a Film of the Month Club that consists of top-notch (mostly foreign) films from every genre. Movement following up "Tanta" with the fairly self-explanatory French biopic "The Jewish Cardinal" a week later is a special treat. Unreal TV plans a review of "Cardinal" during the weekend of May 17, 2014.

The proverbial simple (and universal) premise behind "Tanta" is that middle-aged middle-class divorced dad Alberto takes the kids whom he does not often see on a washed-out in every sense trip to a seedy resort. Early teens Lucia and tween Federico literally could be the kids next door in virtually any country.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of the trailer for "Tanta" wonderfully conveys the spirit and universal nature of the film.

Parents and kids alike can relate to the valiant efforts of Alberto to lift the spirits of his kids and have plans for just one trip to the pool or visit to the local bottling plant not fall flat. The kids are understanding and good sports but still look as if even being in school is more fun than this adventure.

Lucia takes center stage when meeting a fellow resort guest who is the same age as her leads to typical teen girl (and boy) antics. The ensuing mayhem provides a test of whether father knows best.

Federico additionally hold true to his role of kid brother; he also makes a new friend and sustains an injury that requires visiting the local hospital.

The drama that this lad contributes comes in the form of the mother of his new buddy playing the role of the unreasonable parent of the friend of your kid. This requires that Alberto once again exercise parental judgment.

Movement sums up the value of this simple tale of simple folks by stating that presenting a good film does not require intense drama or other heightened emotions; telling an everyday tale to which virtually anyone can relate is enough if it is presented as artfully as in "Tanta."

The aptly chosen bonus short English film "Home Road Movies" is a more clever and witty offering. This artistically animated film relays the bond between a middle-class British man and the family car that becomes his pride and joy.

The 12 minutes of "Home" provide a surprisingly full portrait of the patriarch of the family and their adventures in continental Europe. It additionally puts an interesting twist on the "Cats in the Cradle" aspect of the story of the family.

The bottom line regarding both "Tanta" and "Home" are that they are a great way to get in the proper mindset for a summer family vacation; they also whet our appetites for the next offering from "Movement."

Anyone with questions or comments regarding either film is welcome to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.




 

'7 Boxes' DVD: Wonderful Modern Thriller About a Boy and His Wheelbarrow

The recent DVD release of  audience and critically acclaimed  2012 thriller from Paraguay "7 Boxes" is one of the latest examples of how Philadelphia-based Breaking Glass Pictures is nipping at the heels of neighbor TLA video regarding wonderfully gritty indie films such as "Boxes" and a wide range of terrific gay-and-lesbian themed movies.

"Boxes" evokes thoughts of the 1994 film "Speed" in that it turns a simple concept into an exciting and tense film. The element of the unknown contents of the titular containers contributes a touch of "Pulp Fiction."

"Boxes" is also like "Speed" in that it is a low-budget film that sets most of the film in one location. In this case, it is a bustling maze-like marketplace in Paraguay. Another common aspect is the element of the likable main character having his world instantly turned upside down.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of the trailer for "Boxes" offers glimpses of the thrills and chills in the film. The viewer also gets a sense of the element that there is never a dull minute.

The simple premise is that 17 year-old delivery boy Victor, who almost certainly future international star Celso Franco plays, is hired to initially use his dolly-like wheelbarrow to move the boxes to a safe location and ultimately deliver them to a location that he receives via a call on a borrowed cell phone. The compensation of $100 US is a small fortune from the perspective of this young man.

The multiple wrinkles that provide Victor angst and the audience entertainment include not knowing the contents of the boxes, the wrath of the vicious and desperate courier who was supposed to do the job, and hot pursuit by both the law and the outlaws. One quasi spoiler is that at least one head rolls in the film.

The filmmakers do an excellent job laying out every element of the ensuing mayhem and providing terrific suspense and drama related to the efforts of Victor to keep both his cargo and his person intact long enough to complete the delivery.

Further, the hectic nature of the marketplace and literal backroom elements of the story are perfect settings for the events of "Boxes." Everything (including the cast and their motives) seems very authentic.

There additionally is plenty of great humor; a hilariously dark misunderstanding is at the center of the film, the cop on the beat has plenty of room for improvement, and a language barrier provides some laughs.

Providing many more specifics runs the risk of significantly diminishing the impact of "Boxes." It is fair to say that you will relate to Victor, laugh, and sit on the edge of your seat.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Boxes" is encouraged to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'Beyond the Poseidon Adventure' DVD: Trying to Salvage a Classic

The fact that it is a disaster movie makes it very apt that the 1979 film "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure," which is a sequel to the 1972 uber-classic flick "The Poseidon Adventure," is a very rare dud in the Warner Archive library.

It is equally sad that this film comes from disaster film god Irwin Allen, who is the genius behind the original "Poseidon" and "The Towering Inferno." This is not to mention the classic scifi shows "Lost in Space," "Land of the Giants," "Time Tunnel," and "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea."

It seems that the fatal flaws of "Beyond" relate both to expectations that the original creates and Allen not better utilizing his obviously lower budget and less-talented cast in the sequel to go for camp, rather than trying to build suspense and drama.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of the spoiler-dripping trailer for "Beyond" offers a look at the themes of this film.

The original "Poseidon" has an all-star cast trying to escape the luxury cruise ship that becomes their prison after completely capsizing.

The primary action in "Beyond" begins the "morning after" the flipping of the ship. Bankrupt tug-boat captain Mike Turner, played by Michael Caine, comes across the hull of the titular ship and sees salvaging the possessions of the wealthy passengers as the answer to his financial woes. He enlists his crew, played by Karl Malden and Sally Field, in his scheme.

Conflict soon arises in the form of Stefan Svevo, played by Telly Savalas, and his own crew. Turner and his gang soon learn that the purported humanitarian mission that brings Svevo to the ship is a pretense for pre-planned nefarious dealings.

The separate quests that motivate Turner and Svevo soon connect them with survivors who are still trapped in the ship. These include a ship's nurse, played by Shirley Jones, a WW II veteran and his daughter, respectively played by Peter Boyle and "Space" veteran Angela Cartwright, a stereotypical Texan played by Slim Pickens, and Veronica Hamel as a femme who experiences her own fatale.

This less-than-stellar cast is only one flawed aspect of "Beyond." Unlike the original, the audience does not get to know the characters before they commence their quest for survival. It is equally disappointing that these characters do not develop very fully once they enter the story.

Additionally, the sequel has unduly long scenes of the characters climbing from one level of the ship to another while predictable explosions, fires, and floods imperil them. Allen continues repeating this scenario long after it becomes tedious.

All of this culminates in a rather anti-climatic climax that further defies logic on several levels. This outcome simply does not hold water. (Of course, pun intended.)


The final log entry regarding this attempt at the very difficult task of matching the quality of the original is that it shows that both Allen and Archive can have off days. The better news is that virtually everything else that they provide far more than offsets this.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Beyond" is welcome to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'Vampire Academy' DVD and BD: Sanguine "Buffy"/"Chastity Bites"/"Harry Potter"/"Heathers" Mash-up

The creative team behind the recent teen-oriented vampire flick "Vampire Academy," which is available for early digital download on May 9 2014 and comes out on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD on May 20, 2014, pulls off the neat trick of making the film entertaining for fanboys and girls of all ages.

The following spoiler-laden clip, courtesy of YouTube, conveys the spirit and humor of "Academy" well.

A nod to "The Vampire Diaries" early in the film by mentioning that the bloodsuckers in this one do not sparkle starts things out well. Other great humor relates to rural rhinoplasty and one effect of losing your virginity.

The aforementioned teens already likely know that the film is based on the novel by Richelle Mead; Mead further participates by filming a short special feature that praises "Academy" almost as strongly as Mark Hamill endorses the cast of the new "Star Wars" film.

An equally good special feature consists of an alternate opening scene, which is much more fanboy-oriented than the selected one.

The praise for the quality of "Academy" relates to having "Heathers" writer Daniel Waters and his brother director Mark Waters, who survived directing Lindsay Lohan in "Mean Girls," on board. Elements of those two classics are very apparent.

The "Harry Potter" like lore of "Academy" is that the Morois are good vampires who require including human blood in their diets and merely dislike being in the sun; the Dhampirs are half-breed human/vampire beings who exist to protect the Morois.

The evil Strigoi are the third group of pure vampires; one twist is that these villains typically voluntarily opt to go over to the dark side.

The titular private secondary school, which is formally named St. Vladimir's (but may not call their sports teams The Impalers), exists to prepare the Dhampirs and Morois for their adult lives; it is similar to any other high school except for the live bait in the cafeteria and the liberal use of magic in pranks.

Moroi princess Lissa is the Harry Potter of the tale in that she is a chosen one who rapidly becomes the target of a sinister plot on returning to Saint Vladamir's after an extended period on the run with Dhampir Rose; Rose is a more confident and stable Ron Weasley.

Elements of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" include Rose's dual roles of protecting Lissa and undergoing the demanding training that her pre-destined career requires. This dedication extends to literally sticking out her neck to aid Lissa.

The Lissa/Rose relationship (and the elements of blood and high school cliques) further evoke thoughts of the recent wonderfully campy horror comedy "Chastity Bites," which stars Alison Scagliotti of "Warehouse 13." An Unreal TV review of that one provides further insight regarding it.

Watching "Academy" during the same weekend as several episodes from the especially preachy second season of the '80s sitcom "The Facts of Life" evoked further thoughts of how the film portrays teen girl stereotypes and the experiences that this demographic endures during that period. One difference is that Jo never writes threats in human blood on the wall of Blair's room.

Of course, no teen vampire film would be complete without the stereotypical hunky and simply dreamy boys. Dark and brooding outisder Christian stands out for channeling the uber-awesome performance of then-newcomer Christian Slater in "Heathers."

"Academy" further offers the wonderful "Potter" elements of a few grand-scale battles, left-field twists in the final 30 minutes, and a cliffhanger that has fans eagerly awaiting the next installment.

The final grade for this film is that it earns a B+ for transforming a novel that it seems that only a 12-year-old girl who is not already sick of vampires would love into a fun film that is laden with elements of some of the best films and shows of the past 20 years.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Academy" is welcome to email me. You can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'performance.' BD: Mick Jagger's 'A Clockwork Orange'

The recent Blu-ray release of the wonderfully surreal 1970 film "performance." shows that the range of the Warner Archive library extends beyond more mainstream films and television series. The graphic violence, strong sexual content, surreal images, and made-for-Blu-ray vivid colors evoke strong thoughts of the 1971 Stanley Kubrick classic "A Clockwork Orange." 

The following uber-awesome must-see clip, courtesy of YouTube, of the original trailer for "performance." exceptionally conveys the elements described above. Having a narrator who either is Orson Welles or does a wonderful impersonation of him is a terrific bonus.

The film centers around Chas, who prolific English actor James Fox plays, a gangster who is a little over-zealous regarding the violence that his career requires. The extremely erotic opening scenes establish that he demonstrates the same "youthful exuberance" regarding his sexual encounters.

A scene in which Chas brutalizes a co-worker and another one  involving incredibly wanton destruction of both a prized personal possession and the individual responsible for maintaining it are two examples of how Chas simply lacks either an off switch or dimmer.

This history of violence leads to an equally bloody and not-so-subliminally sexual encounter that requires that Chas go into hiding. Overhearing a conversation early in this process leads to Chas conning his way into the very bizarre household of retired rock star Mr. Turner, wonderfully played by then sexy beast Mick Jagger.

One of many sources of angst for Turner is that he tries, tries, tries, and tries but can't get no satisfaction. The girlie action that his two live-in companions provide are little solace for this tortured soul.

A very odd cross-dressing toddler, who acts in the manner that one would expect of a child raised on a commune, rounds out this odd group. The rampant sexual activity and drug use not phasing this boy contribute strongly to the late '60s- early '70s vibe of "performance."

The scene in which Chas and Turner meet and let their ids run wild is a little more "Rocky Horror Picture Show" than "Clockwork," which does show up in the imagery, but makes great and incredibly surreal cinema. It further includes a great music video by Jagger that features him stepping into Chas' shoes and Chas' trying on the footwear (and other attire) of Turner.

The special features seem to be as extraordinary as the film. "Influence and Controversy" and "Memo From Turner" are treats that are being saved for another day.

All of this amounts to 'performance.' providing folks who enjoy the counter-culture culture of that era or merely like the films that portray it a fun bit of nostalgia. It additionally gives film buffs and folks curious about what the "cool kids" got up to during that period a stronger sense of history.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "performance." is welcome to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'Her Cardboard Lover' DVD: Apt Norma Shearer Swan Song

The 1942 Norma Shearer/Robert Taylor comedy "Her Cardboard Lover," which Warner Archive recently released on DVD, puts every romantic comedy of the 21st century to shame. It also provides Shearer a great note on which to end her more than 20-year film career, but one would expect no less from equally acclaimed director George Cukor.

This impeccably presented tale commences with Taylor's love-struck Terry Trindale rapidly amassing a large debt to the object of his affection, Shearer's Consuelo Croyden. Croyden uses that leverage to coerce Trindale into preventing her from running into the arms (and other body parts) of the cad who is the object of her affection. Uber-awesome talent George Sanders portrays said cad, who is Tony Barling.

Another way of thinking of all of this is that he loves her, but she loves him. You just can't win; love stinks. Ya Ya.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of two early scenes in "Cardboard" offers a good sense of both the film and the chemistry among the leads.

Frank McHugh, who has 165 acting credits, contributes to the fun as Chappie Champagne, who is the a member of the song-writing duo Trindale and Champagne. This role can be thought of as McHugh playing Costello to Trindale's Abbott.

Hilarity ensues when Trindale quickly likes his work too well, Croyden tries to prevent Trindale from protecting her from her worst enemy, and Barling does not make things easy for either of them.

The Tom and Jerry (a.k.a. cat-and-mouse) style tactics of Trindale and Croydon that comprise roughly one-half of the film are always at least amusing and often hilarious. These include expert mimicry and wonderfully intentionally horrible bad acting.

One must-see scene has Trindale donning Croydon's sleeping attire and climbing into her bed in the presence of Barling. Trindale additionally shows his willingness to risk life and limb to keep Croydon from Barling.

This triangle leads to a masterpiece of a slapstick brawl that leads to a fairly common scene of  Trindale and Barling in court where repressed truths are revealed; all of this culminates in the proverbial (and respectable) happy ending.

The relatively innocent PG-style of this truly romantic comedy makes it a great treat for modern audiences. Clever dialog and staging alone are refreshing changes from modern examples of this genre.

The lack of an embarrassing public and/or grand declaration of love is also nice. On top of this, there is no gay best friend/outrageous fool/confidante to both provide the primary comic relief and demonstrate that the scorned woman is so cool that she has chosen this individual as her platonic special someone.

The sad truth regarding all this is that that simply do not make them like that any more when it comes to romcoms.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Cardboard" is encouraged to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'LA Law' S2 DVD: Setting the Bar for Modern Legal Dramas

The 1987-88 second season of  "LA Law," which Shout! Factory is releasing on DVD on May 20 2014, is notable for both some of the most memorable episodes in this eight-season classic series and for introducing some fan-favorite characters.

[As an aside, this release comes on the heels of Shout! releasing the complete series set of the earlier Steven Bocho classic drama series "Hill Street Blues."]

Early episodes in this series about the professional and personal drama in the lives of the attorneys at the prestigious Los Angeles law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney, and Kuzak have new attorney Jonathan Rollins and office clerk Benny Stulwicz begin careers there.

Charming heart-throb Blair Underwood plays Rollins, a fresh prince of L.A. who comes on board as a first-year associate right after graduating from Harvard Law School with honors. In addition to prompting salary-related ill will among his peers, Rollins primarily distinguishes himself through entertaining and effective but questionable tactics that seem very unrealistic considering his educational background and position with a white shoes firm.

Rollins' antics include a slight twist on an old theme related to showing that someone is faking a personal injury and a completely separate escapade that seeks to benefit from another foe experiencing a Rollins-induced life-threatening heart attack.

A scene in the final episode of the season clearly establishes that Rollins additionally has game with the ladies.

Similarly, the writers mine humor that is a little too cruel at the expense of the mentally challenged Benny. The many (again entertaining) indignities that that character endures include getting trapped on a ceiling for an extended period and becoming clad in haute couture.

On a lesser note, episodes from later in the season introduces the self-absorbed dweeb on whom firm secretary Roxanne becomes increasingly involved/dependent. That relationship further intensifies in the third season, which Shout! will likely release on DVD by August 2014. 

Uptight managing partner Douglas Brackman also falls prey to the same dark sensibility of the "Law" writers. Relatively simultaneously being appointed to preside over a "People's Court/" "Night Court" style small claims court takes this formerly respectable and dignified attorney down the rabbit hole.

Brackman finds himself contending with the sleaziest of sleazy ambulance-chasing attorneys and with a fling who resents being flung once the one-night is over are only part of his problems. The overall lesson that he learns is that pride truly triggers a proportional fall.

A scene in which legend in his own mind divorce attorney Arnie Becker overhears two women discussing that he dresses like a Vegas pit boss and has "a body by Pillsbury" is awesome in that it validates observations in the Unreal TV review of the DVD release of the first season of "Law."

Becker additionally is at the center of a very revealing celebration with his peers.

The thought-provoking discussions of legal issues that provide much of the substance of "Law" throughout its run on NBC's "Must See" Thursday night lineup include some doozies this season. One especially good storyline that deals with the "duty to warn" standards that should apply when a patient tells a mental-health professional of a threat to a third party goes onto address when and if an attorney can breach the confidentiality of a client.

The aforementioned episode is a classic regarding the law vs. justice dilemma that distinguishes "Law."

Other issues relate to discrimination of the age, weight, and racial varities. The latter controversy provides a forum for having the uber-awesome James Earl Jones guest star.

The season ends on several nice and intriguing notes that are not cliffhangers but provide good cause for wanting to "tune into tomorrow" to see what is next for these legal eagles and those in their orbits.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Law" is encouraged to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

'The Reckoning' DVD: Medieval Murder Mystery

"The Reckoning", which Warner Archive released on DVD several weeks ago, from 2002 is one of the newer and artier titles in the Archive library. It additionally is one of the more compelling films from the good folks at Archive.

This film is based on the novel "Morality Play," which is among the 100s of not-read-yet books in the tomes section of the Unreal TV library.

The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of the spoiler-laden trailer for "Reckoning" offers a good look at the drama and beauty of the film.

The expertly filmed "Reckoning" is set in 14th Century rural England. It opens with disgraced priest Nicholas, played by Paul Bettany, coming across the camp of a traveling group of actors under highly compromising circumstances for both him and them.

Desperation on the part of Nicholas and a strong need on the part of the troupe leads to the former joining the latter. Willem Dafoe is Martin, who is the very newly appointed leader of the company.

The arrival of the thespians in a village roughly coincides with the trial, conviction, and jailing of a mute woman for killing and robbing a peasant boy. These proceedings (and a need for revenue) inspire the troupe to break from following the tradition of the era of portraying Bible stories to writing and presenting a "ripped from the headlines" play based on the crime.

Subsequent events result in Nicholas, who is seeking atonement for his own sins, investigating the killing and robbery; his findings point both to someone other than the convicted woman being the perpetrator and to the boy being only one in a series of victims.

The highly dramatic final scenes greatly intensify the general Shakespearean vibe of "Reckoning" and throw in a dose of "Frankenstein" for good measure. The ending is not particularly happy but is apt and moral.

The epilog of these musing on this film is that it shows that period pieces can be as stunning and action packed as a CGI-laden blockbusters. It offers the bonus of providing a very digestible history lesson.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding "Reckoning" is welcome to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.

Top-Notch Gramercy Park Hotel: Genuine New York City Oasis

A spectacular recent stay at the Gramercy Park Hotel (GPH) in Manhattan has inspired writing about that terrific treat in the same manner that a visit to the aptly named Edgewater Inn in Maine roughly one year ago inspired a "very special" Thanksgiving 2013 diversion from writing about DVD releases.

This Gotham adventure began with my highly significant other booking a room at the GPH to make "a sort of a homecoming" with college friends special for me. Picking this boutique hotel in a surprisingly quiet corner of New York near Union Square and a couple of stones' throws from Soho reflected my love of B & Bs and not so strong affection for the smelly, noisy, and crowded elements that detract from the 1,000s of wonderful things in New York City.

Both being a boutique hotel and not being part of an even upscale hotel chain results in the GPH providing special hospitality and extra touches that make B & Bs so desirable and that corporate-owned properties seem incapable of providing. 

As alluded to above, this makes GPH a very welcoming spot for folks who have a bit more sophistication than the initially naive New York newcomer Gaylord Esterbrook that Jimmy Stewart plays in the Unreal TV reviewed 1940 classic film "No time for comedy" but prefer fresher air and fewer crowds than exist in most parts of New York.

These qualities make the GPH the hotel-of-choice for A-to-Z List celebrities, who also enjoy haunting the Rose Bar in the lobby. Learning of Lindsay Lohan and Selena Gomez separately visiting there inspired joking about whether Hillary Duff has ever been a guest. (Alas, thoughts of visiting Waverly Place came too late to include that destination on the trip.)

The GPH experience commences with one of the "nice young men" who are stationed out front warmly greeting you and bringing your luggage to the very welcoming lobby.

The limited outside noises and smells of the upscale neighborhood completely disappear in this space with enough dark wood, stones (including a large fireplace), and dark velvet upholstered furniture to evoke thoughts of a perfectly preserved castle. There is also quiet background music and a nice spa-quality scent.

The greeting that Joe provided at the well-staffed front desk was so warm that learning that our room was not ready was not at all annoying. Immediately being asked for a cell number to call when the room was ready and having a bellman standing by to store our luggage in the interim further validated this choice of hotel.

The awesome hospitality continued with a "double upgrade" from the reserved Gramercy Queen Room to the indescribably wonderful 750 square-foot Park View Premier Suite, which is twice the size of many New York City apartments. This upgrade definitely is worth the additional cost.

The nearly sound-proof quality of the suite competed with the elegant furnishings, art from the famous Warhol-centric collection of the GPH, and oodles of extras for status of favorite feature. A very comfy spa robe/slipper set, an extraordinary secondary shower head that came to be known as the "bidet nozzle," and fabled Aesop brand amenities contributed a nice spa-like sensibility to the lodgings.

The heavy velvet curtains and French doors with thick glass that separated the bedroom and living room areas of the suite allowed watching DVD episodes of the reviewed "Doctor Who" spin-off "K9" without disturbing the nap of said significant other. (On a related note, three seems to be the tolerance level regarding responding to inquiries with the "K9" catchphrase "affirmative" in a robotic dog voice.)

This suite offered the additional benefit of a perfect view of the very serene Gramercy Park itself, use of which is limited to residents of the neighborhood and guests of GPH.

An unexpected "wacky sitcom" style treat regarding the park came early in the visit. On going to the front desk to ask a question, I overheard a woman and Joe discussing the availability of a higher-level room in the "four" tier of the hotel.

On hearing Joe state that all those rooms were occupied, I joined the conversation by stating that I was staying in 1104 and would help if I could. Joe then introduced the woman as "the mayor of Gramercy Park."

The name of the woman was Arlene Harrison, and she was the president of the amazingly active and effective Gramercy Park Block Association. She told me that her objective was getting good photos of the park in bloom.

Harrison was gracious and appreciative when I offered to let her in the room to take the photos. (Attempted humor in stating "yeah, right" when Harrison commented that I must be a New Yorker because I was so friendly fell flat.)

The aforementioned "wacky" events prevented Harrison from coming up for the photos. I subsequently learned that weather conditions turned out to be less than optimal for the photos anyway.


Returning to the room on Saturday night to find turn-down service that included refreshed supplies of the aforementioned uber-awesome Aesop amenities and a softly burning candle added to the enjoyment of the stay.

This terrific weekend further included a tasty Italian dinner at Maialino in the hotel lobby. The decor was quite nice, but background music and more subtle lighting would have been nice touches.

Our respective entrees of cod and pasta with pesto were well-prepared and flavorful. Further, we appreciated that our server advised us when ordering that the pasta required a little extra time.

The chocolate croissant bread pudding with hazelnut gelato was slightly disappointing. The bread pudding was less rich than the traditional form of that treat, and the gelato had the almost certainly related flaws of being more creamy and lacking as strong a flavor as true gelato. The fact that the flavor became a little sharper after several minutes suggested as well that the gelato was not being stored at an ideal temperature.

The GPH passed a couple of checkout-related tests on Monday morning. The clerk politely resolved a billing dispute in our favor, and we learned on contacting the hotel regarding a forgotten personal item that the hotel already mailed it to us.

All of this boils down to the GPH being the perfect choice for NYC visitors who want a conveniently located ideal oasis after enduring the smells, noise, and crowds of that metropolis to enjoy the scads o' well-known and lesser-known treats that more than offset those unpleasant experiences.

Anyone with questions or comments regarding the GPH or the Gramercy Park neighborhood is encouraged to email me; you can also connect on Twitter via @tvdvdguy.